It’s been awhile since I have podcasted. Maybe too long. I recently sat down with my friend, Karen Poirier-Brode as a guest on her podcast, A Creative Approach. Karen interviews people from all walks of life, inviting them to share how they keep creativity in their lives. Being on this podcast was something I needed. That may sound a bit odd, but yes, I needed it. I needed the reminder that I am a creative being because I haven’t felt especially creative lately.
I think there is this idea that a creative person finds creating easy. Friends have told me that I always seem to be making something or other. I do try to and often that may well be the case. What you don’t see is when I am struggling, and boy oh boy, have I been struggling lately. Deadlines, both creative and personal. Appointments. Homeschool. Housework. All of it, just conglomerating into a big ball of invisible weight that is holding me down, keeping me from doing what I want creatively. I can feel it. I can see it in physical form inside my creative space. I can see it through my lack of attention to my blog. I can hear myself in the moments when my temper becomes short and my words are quick, sliding out of my mouth to jab at my son or husband. It isn’t fun and it isn’t pretty.
Sometimes people say it’s good to “fake it until you make it.” When it comes to being creative this doesn’t usually work for me. I know I am forcing myself to make things. If it isn’t a project I want to create, if it has a deadline attached or some specific prompt or challenge, I end up resenting it. The resentment builds and it spills out.
The physical manifestation of my mental creative struggle will show itself in my creative space as a huge mess. While it’s true that I always have a mess in my space of some sort, I have learned there are two types of messes that I create. One is a form of organized chaos which involves having the supplies currently being used out and available, both on my desk and on the floor around it. I use them, make my projects and put them away. The other mess is just chaos. Supplies from various projects are out everywhere, beginning to creep from one small section of the floor into many stacked piles which, as the cats knock them about, begin to spread across the room. When I do put something away, it generally gets stuffed somewhere and not necessarily where it should go. This leads to frustration as I then can’t find something later. Which then leads to me dragging more stuff out that I don’t currently need in an attempt to find the first thing.
The grainy image above is an example of the second type of mess. I took it during the recording of my podcast with Karen, taking care to crop out the messy floor space. Most people would look at my creative messes and not be able to discern which is organized chaos and which is just a mess( my husband included), but I look and I can see. I see the pieces of partially used paper sitting on the desk “waiting” for me to collage them. I say they are “waiting” because I have the intent to use them but have not focused my limited time to do so. I don’t want to forget my intention, so I keep them there.This isn’t good because in order to sit my coffee down, place the mic on my desk and leave room for my crochet, I had to push it aside to clear a space.In time,that pile of intention grows and I find myself shuffling it all about the desk, making is messier than before.
I know I have been feeling resentful lately, but there is knowing and then there is acknowledging. Taking this photo was a sort of wake up call for me. It helped me to acknowledge the mental mindset I was in. It helped me to form a plan to get out of it. Creativity follows a cycle. Understanding where you are within that cycle can help you find the best way to energize. There are times in which deadlines and prompts inspire me. There are other times in which these become obligations that hinder me.
To refresh my creative lifsetsyle, I first had to look at my obligations. Homeschool always comes first and I can’t let that go. I can let some housework slide some of the time, but I also know that if I do, I end up feeling guilt about spending time to create. I am choosing not to let that go either.I decided to take a break from creating for design teams. I let go of needing to produce a newsletter. Keeping to seasonal blog posts can be stressful, so I let that go too. I will instead focus my creative time on classes I have been wanting to take or finish. If I blog, I will blog what I creatively want to blog in that moment. It might be a post I have been meaning to write for awhile or one I just feel compelled to write that very day. I created a list of projects in progress. These projects are all ones in which I have started but could not finish( though I greatly wanted to) due to other obligations. I am hoping to work on a few this month as well.
I also formulated a plan to clean up my space. I started with my desk, opening my art journals and collaging in those little papers sitting in the waiting piles. Creativity and clean up combined. A Win Win. I also reorganized my storage closets. Items have been put back where they belong. A few of my storage solutions were not working for me. I am trying a few new things here or there. We shall see how they work and, inspiration willing, I will be sharing a video tour at some point in the future.
I have also chosen to limit myself on social media. I might add a few things to Viraltag to post for me here or there but I realize that every moment looking for stuff to share is a moment stolen from my personal time.
If you are also struggling creatively right now, you can do some of the same things I am doing. Review your obligations. What has to stay, what can you take a break from or eliminate? Analyze your space, including your whole home. Is there something that needs doing, that if you just focus and finish, can allow you to create guilt free? You don’t need to think of this as a major decluttering project. It can be something as simple as just washing the dishes. Ask yourself about the value of the activity you are doing. Reading a book with your child or doing a bit of laundry has value. Sitting and mindlessly browsing the web does not. What are the things you could accomplish with that time?
Speaking of time, I should go. I have homeschool, housework and a foster kitten to attend to. Then I plan to pop on my headset, click play on the playlist for a Creative Approach Podcast and paint. Want to listen in too? The episode I was interviewed in can be found here. Don’t forget to explore the podcast playlist for other creative episodes to inspire you whilst you create.
