Sometimes you are the one passing the spices and sometimes you are the one receiving them. It’s a common ritual as an expat. A bittersweet one. There is the excitement of knowing that you or a friend is moving onward to a new adventure. There is also the sadness and the not knowing of whether or not you will ever actually see this person again. Yes, you will keep in touch with email and social media but will you ever actually be in the same city ever again.
So what does this mean, this ritual often dubbed as ” the passing of the spices”. Quite literally, you could be passing a set of spices on to another family. Sometimes it includes cleaning products. Other times books or furniture. You are moving someplace new. Someplace faraway. You are not taking these things with you and the idea of throwing any of it out is abhorrent.Giving it away feels somehow better, especially if you are giving these things to a friend who has helped you during the moving and packing process. It probably isn’t enough, but it is something. A little token of thanks and one last moment for a quick hug before you say the last goodbye. You leave a small part of yourself behind or you receive a small reminder of the friend who is leaving.
My first “passing of the spices” occurred in 2006 when we moved to the Bahamas from the United States. We had said goodbye to our relatives but our last goodbye was to a family who had become more than friends. They were also family. At the time, I really didn’t know about this expat ritual. It’s one of those things that you just inadvertently do. In fact, I never even really thought about is as a significant act until recently when another expat in a support group mentioned it.
As an expat, you are often far from your blood family. When you make friends in your new home, it is not unusual for them to become an extended version of it. Many expat communities welcome new comers with open arms. Head to any expat forum and there are people who have “been there, done that.” They are ready to share both advice and help. The only request is to pay it forward when the next new expat comes into town. Over time, close relationships evolve and before you know it, some of these strangers become like family.
A few weeks back, I was part of the ritual again. A friend left me her spices and some cleaning supplies. As silly as it sounds, when I grabbed that bottle to clean the bathroom today, I thought of her. Later on, I reached out and sent her a message. As much as the “passing of the spices” marks an ending, it also means there is a new beginning. We’ll keep in touch and meanwhile, I will be welcoming the newest expats to our community.
One of the “families” that I belong to is that of the scrapbooking and art journal community. It exists online. We inspire each other, encourage one another and pretty much just love talking about anything crafty and artistic. We communicate mostly through social media and our blogs. I’d like to welcome you into it too with a virtual “passing of the spices” in the form of a color palette. I would love to see if you make something with this palette. Feel free to reach out to me through the comments below or by following me on social media.